JUST SAY NO: COLOUR BLIND ALT GIRLS
Think the photo does the talking. These are the kind of girls who never got the D at high school but to avenge all that they drastically reinvent themselves. She changed her name by deed poll to include the word ‘faerie’ and nothing can stop her, apart from the fact she’s been impregnated by a Games Workshop floor supervisor. She’s constantly pissed off that her worst half would rather throw a War Hammer lock in than sit at home and watch X Factor with her plus he never gets up early to buy her gig tickets any more (missing Paramore like, totally sucked). Moral of the story. Don’t die your hair three colours and get a lip piercing. It tires quickly.
See also: Bad Hair Day
JUST SAY NO: BAD BITCHES
NEWSFLASH: MY THOUGHTS ON BAD BITCHES ARE AS RELEVANT AS EVER.
A bad bitch is a brain dead, vacuous husk who heard ‘Rack City’ for the first time last year and subsequently decided to dive deep into the realm of the ‘bad bitch’.
Your eyebrows are shit and your Twitter game is ripe for the ripping. We all know you still sit at home frapping over Ben Gibbard.
JUST SAY YES
BAKLAVA
That crispy, that gooey, that all around pistachio dashed delight. I once spent the minimum card payment of ten English pounds on my debit card in a Turkish restaurant for two pieces of baklava at 4am. Yet another pointless piece of info you didn’t need in your brain.
JUST SAY YES
80s SWIMSUIT BABES
They don’t make them like that anymore. Your body is so so tight but your head kinda looks like a petit pois that dropped off my plate and onto the shag carpet.
JUST SAY YES
SIPPY CUP
Me and your girl sippin outta sippy cups. I’m wearing a ski mask and she’s about to dive into a pool of diamonds in a hi-leg swimsuit.
JUST SAY YES
GANGSTA BOO FEEDING HER BOO A GHERKIN
Because quite frankly gherkins are the best snacks going. Pass me the CORNICHON.
