Ain’t life weird. Something ain’t right here.
EXHIBIT A
Chris Brown jumping out of bed right onto on a body scanning balcony to go to the club with some platinum gutter broad. She’s got the mouthy edge of the girl in school who snared an aspiring premier league football player in Year 9. All jewels and whips until he ends up on the bench for a local pub league. Packet of pork scratchings and a in a baby in your belly. WHAT WHAT.
EXHIBIT B
What’s with the guy in the passenger seat chatting like Fogell from Superbad on speed but looking like he’s ghosting as Fred Durst picking up his pension? A blind Paul Wall on styling duties. Fuck it actually, this guy is the Poor Mans Paul Wall. Where them TV screens? Folded up.
EXHIBIT C
2 minutes, 3 seconds. Mad vapes. ZING ZINGAH.
EXHIBIT D
Nicki’s hair. Amazing how you can go from curls to poker straight like that. Bit like Stars In Your Eyes but you all see is ratchets, ghd cables and a go-go dancer covered in discarded pavement weave. Love you right but I’m not feeling the fucked your dad and he decked me out in J-Crew look.
“Ass on smother you”. Yah-huh.
EXHIBIT E
Stop saying DJANGO in raps. That film came out like, a while ago. Sayonara.
Rubber band man. Is Chris Brown a hologram? Don’t even know. Go back to community service bruh.
