I saw countless photos of DJ Assault stood next to his car and thought – I’M IN TO THIS. My kind of guy. So from Assault I found DJ Funk (eventually I met him and played his opening set at a Manchester show – an experience in itself which I could write a fucking novel about) and then schooled myself in the fine art of booty music purveyed by the likes of Deeon, Milton, Clent, Slugo, Godfather and Gant-Man (there’s definitely more – but this brain is fried tonight). I feel sad thinking about what my life would be like without it. Definitely improved my booty shaking and vocabulary if nothing else. Maybe could have done without the sinister obsession with rotund oiled booty…but that’s a minor.

Anyway enough of the chat. This is supposed to be one of them top 5 things so here go —-

DJ FUNK – PUSSY RIDE (96/98 – FUNK RECORDS)

DON’T U WANT A PUSSY RIDE. P – U – S – S – YYYYYYYYY. Released in the mid 90s but still as relevant as ever. I think they call that ‘timeless’.

DJ RASHAD – B DAY SEX REMIX (2010 – Moveltraxx)

Your favourite once-a-year guilty sex song…juke-ified.

DJ SPINN – FEELIN’ YOU (Juke Trax Online Vol. 6)

If Alicia Keys had gone to high school in Detroit…tasty.

DJ RASHAD – DAM MA (2009 – Databass Online)

Smooth as fuck!

DJ SLUGO – I AIN’T YO BABY DADDY (2008 – WIDE)

Don’t need to waffle on this one!

DJ NASTY – CHILD SUPPORT

Another educational message for the Maury crowd…how can you hate?

& BASICALLY

ANYTHING

OK I’m exhausting the YouTube…but you get my drift. Just Jam tomorrow night is going to be such a banger. Face down, azz up. Pumpin on the floor. All and any of the ratchet moves mentioned in these songs!

Over & out from bootyville.