TOTES SEXEH.

IGGY FUCKING AZALEA.

The names been ringing in my ears like tinnitus but Jesus now I’m puking up too since just heard her god awful rapping for the first time. I originally noticed people starting talking about this girl not long after 212 by Azealia Banks broke…and I thought OK it’s probably some edgy pop merchant trying to infiltrate the charts and rip-off Banks. BUT NO. Its much worse than that. MUCH MUCH WORSE.

Still with only her name floating in my head (no idea of appearance of music style) I read the interview she did recently with Dazed & Confused. Personally, after reading it I thought the girl needed to be sectioned. It became clear to me that she was an Australian girl trying to make it big in the ‘trap’ scene. She looks like Hitler’s wet dream…a ultra Aryan with a big dumb ponytail that she flicks around whilst doing that horrific hands on hips quasimodo Wonderman super model pose at the same time as telling you that she’s a bad bitch. Rough bitches who move to the other side of the world just to make it big in the rap scene? Somehow I don’t think it works like that but whatever, I still hadn’t heard her music. Maybe the ego could be justified by some brilliant sound…..OR MAYBE NOT.

Here is what I saw! Judge for your self but….WHAT? Even Highsnobette (who are generally a positive bunch) had their doubts over Iggy’s ‘talent’.No surprises there though. The white girl rappers hitting the underground/mainstream (ish) border are embarrassing. I mean…she’s a funny sounding Australian don’t you think? If I moved my not-so-big-n-bad Lancashire arse over to Hollywood now (which wouldn’t happen because I’m poor and normal) and made a track about murking girls in an AMERICAN ACCENT I would get ABSOLUTELY TERRORISED. Rightly so. Instead she gets buddied by T.I. and signed to Interscope or something mad. C’mon, who finances this procession of absolute shit? She looks like a picture of pure privileged girl health. In fact, she looks like the stereotypical babe from high school who took a hit on a bong in free period and came back the next day thinking she was the epitome of bad by wearing some dutty door knocker earrings. PFFFFFFFFFFFT.

If I saw Iggy in the hood part of town I’d just think she had got lost on the way home from private school and run out of cab fare. I wouldn’t be scared of her. I’d probably offer her a cup of hot chocolate and a shoulder to cry on. If she tried to ‘murk’ me I would probably feel sorry for her and maybe push her in a puddle depending on how far she took it. People like her wear ‘haters’ like a medal of honour…but let’s just see where you are in 5 years girl. “Iggy who? You’re not on the list”….SORRRRRRRRY.